Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
