There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
