I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
