dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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