she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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