oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
