New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
