I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
