id be glad to
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
