I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
