I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
