the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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