man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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