she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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