Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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