I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
