WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
