Four minutes until I can fart!
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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