just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
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