i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I could fuck to npr.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
