just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
