I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
