you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
