"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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