called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
