Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
