a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Randomize
