I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize