I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Randomize
