Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
