is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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