Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
