I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
