Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
