I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Two words: nipple clamps
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