Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
