I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
