I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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