WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
