Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
