he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
