He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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