I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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