It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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