So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
