I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
