would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I showed him my bush... on skype.
if only i could text you this smell
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
