how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
