does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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