just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
