im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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