As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
