I'm laying in your front yard are you home
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
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