I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
