Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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